farpitzs.

i know i said that it was “over,” this whole diary thing, but i felt it necessary to write one last post about the past week to reflect upon what i’ve learned about myself.

after six days and nine (or so) (i was honest, remember?) perfectly-portioned meals courtesy of in the zone and lifebooker, what was the result? four pounds lost, according to my scale. there was also some stomach shrinkage and a whole lot of realization that i’ve been eating far too much. sometimes it’s nice to be smacked in the face with horror and surprise that the food on your plate looks too small, when in actuality it’s the right size. that isn’t to say that you all should start eating less—in this case, it was necessary for me. having gained around 15 pounds within two years and the label of “obese” via my doctor, we can all admit that i had to make a change. at 4’10”, the weight didn’t sit right. literally. my already bad knees got worse, i sweat more and became winded easily, and clothes? i couldn’t look at my body in or out of them. to be unhappy with how you look is an awful feeling, but it’s even worse when you know you did this to yourself without a real reason. sure, i’m stressed, i’m always stressed, but i gained this weight because i just couldn’t control myself; i snacked because i was bored and skipped the gym because i was lazy. those of you who work out on a daily basis know how good it feels when exercise becomes a routine—you feel accomplished and energized. nevertheless, this experience allowed me to see very clearly that learning proper portions works for me and i don’t need to starve myself or over-exercise to do it.

i know, just one week has passed, but i’m glad this blog exists for me to look back on how i felt throughout—that sometimes it’s okay to admit when you’ve failed yourself. while you may not want to cut out cocktails with the girls (i sure don’t), be realistic and experiment with what works best for you. always know that you can turn things around.

disclosure: this 6-day deal was offered gratis in exchange for editorial content

breakfast: egg whites, turkey bacon, palmful of breakfast potatoes

lunch: vegetarian bbq on a multi grain bun with coleslaw

dinner: tarragon beef with honey glazed carrots and quinoa

exercise: leg lifts with ankle weights, lots of walking around the city

overall thoughts: since i will be waiting for the rest of my plan to arrive, dinner is going to get pretty boring up in this piece, but the good thing is that i will save some pennies on groceries with the additional meals and continue to help me to continue proactively educating myself about portion control. if you don’t know, i’m 4’10”, which is mostly why i have such an issue with weight gain. every pound—lost or gained—shows on someone as petite as i am. it is also why my curves look so curvy. that being said, portion size has been a big problem for me in recent years and not knowing the appropriate amount of food i should be eating at mealtime is something i have to remedy; don’t worry, this will still only be a 7-day diet diary so as not to clog your dashboards with more pictures of food that look eerily like something a dog eats. though i’ve had today’s meals before (breakfast was my own typical weekend fare), i was extremely active throughout the day and conquered much of lower manhattan and then scurried out to see an apartment once i returned to astoria. i’m getting used to less food at mealtime and have added snacks like an apple in the late afternoon or a low-fat milkshake after dinner.

disclosure: this 6-day deal was offered gratis in exchange for editorial content

click here to follow along with me throughout the week while i eat very little.

breakfast: turkey & cheddar cheese broccoli scramble

lunch: nothing because work was crazy

dinner: turkey mercedes

exercise: none because i typically sleep late on friday mornings

overall thoughts: after looking at the above, i realize that i should feel guilty about “cheating” on the “diet” that i’ve created for myself, but i need to make something very clear by saying that i will not lie to you when writing these posts nor have i made strict rules to abide by for this week-long journey. to start, as i’ve said, i’m not a fan of microwavable eggs and, therefore, was not a fan of today’s breakfast. thank god for the broccoli and light cheddar cheese, though, because they added much-needed flavor (where’s the salt at?). i did not have lunch as this has been an incredibly stressful week and—since we have half-day fridays—there wasn’t much time to sit down for a mid-day meal. dinner, though, was über yum and i’ve realized that roasted cherry tomatoes are my jam. they would make an amazing topper to any meal, including ice cream. also, i’ve had a glass of wine, so this post may be tainted by my lack of sobriety. when i first received this week’s delivery, two dinner meals of sweet chili chicken with vegetable stir fry arrived opened, so i contacted my consultant tim (who is the man, by the way) and was told that fresh meals would be sent on friday afternoon. well, it’s friday evening and they haven’t arrived; after alerting him, tim reimbursed me with three days of additional food to arrive on tuesday evening. basically, tim rules and in the zone gets an a+ for customer service. (i won’t subject you to more of this diary, though, so you’re welcome for that, but i may supplement a meal here or there with someone of my own creation.)

disclosure: this 6-day deal was offered gratis in exchange for editorial content

click here to follow along with me throughout the week while i eat very little.

breakfast: asparagus and portobello frittata

lunch: italian marinated chicken with barley & vegetable salad

dinner: tarragon beef with honey glazed carrots and quinoa

exercise: planking, 5-lb hand weights, leg lifts (total workout: 40 minutes)

overall thoughts: i was NOT (caps lock) a fan of this breakfast. not only did it look and feel like a sponge, but it tasted like one, too. it was completely void of flavor. also, call me crazy but there is something so disconcerting about microwavable eggs. the lunch, however, was quite tasty and filling enough to let me last until 6pm without hunger, though i did buy myself a large iced coffee with soy milk around 3pm. you know what’s kind of cool and minimizes the weirdness of heating up meals in a plastic tray 2x a day, taking up valuable microwave space in the office kitchen? i found two coworkers doing the same thing. it was a bonding moment, you guys. i forgot to take a picture of my dinner, but it wasn’t bad—a little bland. there was a substantial amount of beef, carrots, and quinoa to go around. the zone does not like salt, which is good for my ankles (they retain water—it’s genetic) but bad for my taste buds. after dinner, i did have a handful of pirate’s booty and i think i can justify it because the plan does not include snacks.

disclosure: this 6-day deal was offered gratis in exchange for editorial content

click here to follow along with me throughout the week while i eat very little.

breakfast: apple walnut pancakes with turkey bacon & lite maple syrup

lunch: vegetarian bbq on a multi grain bun with coleslaw

dinner: i made a reservation at the hurricane club for “restaurant week” with allison weeks ago and because i am no quitter, i would not cancel for anything. this is life. life happens. 5-star meals happen. also, brunch on saturday morning will happen.

exercise: planking, 5-lb hand weights, leg lifts (total workout: 40 minutes)

overall thoughts: so, this first day is done and i have a lot of feelings. first, admittedly, i’m hungry. it’s horrifying to realize what a *real* portion size is—or what in the zone has deemed mine to be when taking into consideration my height, weight, and fitness level—in comparison with what i’ve been eating. also, if you’re going to do a meal plan similar to this one, get over the fact that it ain’t pretty. the meals are delivered fresh to your door and only require a 1-1.5 minute microwave job, but most of them look like dog food. get over it. what i am most excited about for this week is trying foods that i haven’t forced myself to eat regularly because of texture/smell/other weird quirks of mine; for instance, cooked apples. the [three small] pancakes at breakfast were really tasty and the maple syrup definitely didn’t taste “lite.” the addition of a couple walnuts for texture was nice, but i find cooked apples to be a bit slimy on the tongue, so i didn’t finish all of them. lunch looked a little bit like something i would let loose after a long night of drinking at a keg party in college (you know what i’m trying to say here, right?), but i am honestly surprised to say that it was amazing. i forgot the multi grain bun (fyi: a sandwich thin) at home because it was packaged separately and i’m always running out of the house without my pants on. let it be known that the veggie mix tasted beefy, which i loved as an avid meat eater. i do regret forgetting the bun, though; typically, these meal plans come with 2 snacks per day, but i assume that they were not included because of the lifebooker discount. i was starving by 5pm so i gorged on gum.

disclosure: this 6-day deal was offered gratis in exchange for editorial content

i’m not sure when it started—maybe a few weeks ago—but it seems that almost every time i post a #wiwt picture, i get a comment of “have you lost weight?” or “you look thinner!”. in my backwards self-deprecating mind that has felt so badly about her shape for so long, these are quite possibly the loveliest things that a person could say, but it must be revealed: no, i haven’t. i have lost 1.5 pounds in the span of three weeks, which could be commendable if i wasn’t monitoring every bite of food and attempt at exercise to achieve the goal of losing 30-40 pounds before her sister’s wedding, but i have not made huge steps recently in shedding that extra weight. i thought you should know.

the aforementioned goal isn’t something that i just thought up in my mind one day when i looked at my naked body in the mirror and found myself disgusted (though, sadly enough, that has happened); rather, it was when i went to a new doctor for a physical and was called “obese.” it’s a harsh word, you guys. one that makes you cry in the corner of a sterilized hospital hallway hoping that she was kidding and that you aren’t in any way close to looking like all those sad cases on ‘extreme makeover: weight loss edition’ or ‘the swan’ or ‘the biggest loser’—and i’m not! you can merely look at me and know that i’m not, but what remains is that my bmi is unhealthy and i don’t feel comfortable in my skin, with my excess skin.

before i announce my next step, i should tell you that what i do with my life and my body is my choice and you shouldn’t take what i say as gospel (ever!), but as i’ve had an ongoing goal to get in better shape and live a more healthful lifestyle, i find it imperative to dabble in whatever means accessible. this time, with the help of my friends at lifebooker, it is a seven-days-long, perfectly-portioned diet courtesy of in the zone. thankfully, lifebooker appreciates my platform of honesty, so i won’t be holding anything back. if i’m starving, i’ll tell you; if the lack of nutrients makes me break out, it’ll be announced; if it makes me sick, you’ll know.

the diary begins this wednesday. at the end of each day, i will tell you all about the meals and how they made me feel and the overall results (loss, recommendations, etc.) will be revealed at the end of that week. i hope it won’t bore you too much.