due to my completion of graduate school this upcoming may, it has been recommended that i start applying for jobs. i am scared. goddamn you, economy.

if you know of any jobs that will allow me to do the following, please let me know:

  • engage in a bagel bite-eating contest
  • wear the same pair of pants for multiple days in a row without reprimand
  • post on tumblr

yes, i am willing to relocate. and yes, i will brush my hair for the interview.

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