i went to the mall with my sister today (yes, “the mall,” since i live in the suburbs) and stopped into the gap to try on some jeans after donating a pair of marc jacobs way-too-skinnies that i’ve had since high school and have this weird obsession with trying to fit into them again. (again? they never fit to begin with, but let’s continue…) as i tugged on a pair, my knee cap popped out of its socket causing me to fall on the dressing room floor, cursing profusely and writhing in pain. i was somehow able to click it back into place while apologizing profusely to the staff with the pants half-way down my ass. needless to say, i bought the jeans; they were on sale and my dignity needed some retail therapy.

i’m in bed now with two packs of ice and six dvd rentals until monday when i can hopefully make an appointment with the orthopedist, but i got to scanning the bloomingdale’s footwear selection since i assume that i’ll be stuck in flats for a while. john mayer was wrong: my body is not a wonderland — it hurts.