farpitzs means "all dressed up" in yiddish.
email me and say "'sup?": firstname.lastname@example.org
let me start by saying that i would never lie to you. as you’ve learned before with my slimming wrap and diet diary posts, i leave no stone unturned by the end of my experience. this time i’ve conquered another health goal: attempting a juice cleanse.
thanks to my gal pals at bollare, i was graciously gifted with a 3-day “renovation” juice cleanse courtesy of their new client blueprintcleanse. i have been wanting to try new things, health-wise, this past year and am well on my way; the only thing left to do is boot camp. (don’t hold your breath on that one.) you all are more than aware of my penchant for cheeseburgers, so this being my first cleanse, i chose the first level “renovation” cleanse and promptly became terrified prior to its arrival. in an effort to keep things concise for your sanity, please click below to read this post in its entirety.
day 1: i packed five (of the total six) bottles to bring with me to work and bulldozed through them throughout the day. realizing that i loathed the taste of green juice made things difficult as there were two days left in the cleanse and i had to drink two each day, but my way-smarter-than-everyone boss heather suggested putting in a few slivers of ginger in the bottle and shaking it up to make the taste more palatable. by the end of the day, i had one drink left. this one was cashew milk and i had read dozens of blog posts singing its praises. to prolong what i came to believe would be my reward for lasting the day, i ate half of a baby cucumber and one cup of low sodium broth (blueprint cleanse provides a short “cheat sheet” of foods—1/4 of an avocado, a few celery stalks, etc.—that can be eaten if you’re yearning for something other than liquid) before finding that the rumors are true and the cashew milk was as amazing as they all said it would be. i have no idea how i will survive two more days.
because i have yet to find a blogger who reveals the full cheat sheet, here ‘tis:
day 2: all of today was spent in a wwd digital conference, which was awkward when lugging around bottles of juice. surprisingly, i’ve gotten used to the taste, though that isn’t to say that the green juice is any tastier (it isn’t). mother zucker has no idea that i can stay functional throughout the day when all i’ve ingested are beverages, but i’ve honestly been fine—not “refreshed” and “renewed” like so many others using this cleanse have declared (let’s be real here, please), though the spicy lemonade is quite zippy. and while i don’t miss chewing as much as i thought i would, daydreams of grilled cheese and chicken fingers keep creeping into my consciousness. admittedly, i had a glass of cava with some girl friends last night. it didn’t kill me.
day 3: it’s the home stretch! my boss asked how i was feeling and i was honest: my skin is really clear (though it usually looks okay) and i feel a lot less bloated. i also weighed myself and had lost four pounds; it is almost 100% water weight lost, so i’m trying not to pat myself on the back. three days will not turn me into someone who is suddenly reaching for veggies over chips (sorry i’m not sorry), so since it is my goal to be as honest as possible, i will admit that i ended the cleanse with a bang—of a few tater tots during lunch and some hors d’oeuvres and prosecco at a lucky cocktail party that night. i cannot tell you that i felt perfectly peachy afterward since my stomach had indeed gotten used to ingesting strictly fresh-pressed juice; in fact, i’m still burping hours later as i type this synopsis, therefore, i would not recommend straying far from the recommended “cheat” foods during this process.
why did i do this? having never attempted *the juice thing* before, i did it for purely selfish reasons—i wanted to prove to myself that i could. while i wouldn’t necessarily shout a cleanse’s praises from the rooftops, it was a unique experience that i may think of doing again on a 1-day basis every so often after a rough week. many thanks to bollare and blueprintcleanse for allowing me to take the cleanse for a test drive. to those of you looking to try it for yourself? happy drinking!